Have you ever dealt with a Christian narcissist?

Well we know narcissists are highly adept at control, manipulation , mirroring, exploiting relationships and using you for narcissistic supply.

i was very sad to be conned by a person of the faith. I was decieved, my relationship was held hostage and i was left with s trauma bond. No christian would do this. Its just a disorder that used the cover of faith to be a really bad person. In fact i quoted matt 7:6 in my last dealings i said i am hurt, wounded, disheartened to learn i gave my pearls to a pig (to paraphrase)

a narc adapts to situations, whats needed in the moment, what is needed to groom, blow through your defenses, groom, exlploit, abuse, suck dry, and if you confront them trust me a true narc christisn or not will not become culpable, accountable - and make true ammends.

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

so yes narcs are rampant even in politics, churches, family… your bed.

There is great dissonance as to why you look to them for that spiritual bond and understanding that narcs do not bond. There is no fluidity, reciprication or warmth.

I shared 8 years with someone who claimed to be a christian. Now this is where i have to be transparent but also hesitant to make the appearance of judging. I truly cannot be the judge or one who says who is or isnt a christian.

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a true christian when they hurt you will make ammends, own it and like any other faith, they will do everything to not repeat that mistake. A narcissist not only doesnt care if they hurt you but manipulates you into believing you had earned whatever you had coming to you and it was always your fault never there’s.

So my brain was very confused with why a christian brother was able to present as being many things , but a true narc is incapable of genuineness, authenticity and is well grounded. Narcs are anything but well grounded and authentic because they dont even know who they are.

These are values/norms for you people. Stealing, lies, ommisions, manipulations, affairs, cheating, porn, drug/alcohol abuse all of that is permissable. Even rewardable. It gets you what you want and it works. Sadly though it has natural consequances christian or not. That self destructive appetite is always quick to indulge in but not so easy to be held accountable for. Like i said these things do not actually apply to them only to

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so i take answering this a2a with nothing but caution and reverence. A christian is known by his what?

you people.

Here is my personal experience with a covert narc.

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Yes

by his fruits of the spirit. Do they follow the teachings of jesus.

the sad reality is this disorder does not discriminate. Any faith, gender, religion, ethnicity. It is prevalent in the young to the old.

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so with my covert in time the relationship

a bad seed is good for nothing.

i gave my very best for years to a person who gladly recieved , and when i was discarded after the exploitation, it took an immense ammount of soul searching to understand how and why a person who i would have pretty much given him the shirt off my back and realize these folks wear many disguises but in the end you are disposable and they will just tepeat the same antagonistic and purposeful behaviour to the nrxt person. They are broken. They gave in to the depths of there disorder not into adhering to the foundations of there faith . So are they still christians thats not my call but i can clearly state a person of the faith draws to their teachings they arent the actual antithesis of that faith. If they purposefully use and abuse and clearly know the difference in situations then i question your integrity. When you cheat, lie, steal and play mind games… it wasnt just an ignorant one off mistake. You purposefully engaged in this behaviour in clusters of patterns. And noone needs to be betrayed by such one or make justifications or allowances for them.

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so after 8 years i didcovered how a person can even manipulate faith/religion to fall under your radar , abuse you , discard you and on to the next like preditorial opportunists.

kind, patient, loving, slow to anger, forgiving, giving, caring, show wisdom, insight, not selfish or prideful. Etc

now when a brother or sister in christ regardless of being your friend, partner or family claims to be a christian you are taught that they share the same values ethics , teachings and you are all on the same page. Ethics , norms, rules ,values wedding vows, none of it this is in their mind something that they actually have to adhere to due to their ego and pathology.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

the church got a lot wrong on this topic. No one said abuse is to be tolerated. Fools are to be avoided. Pigs dont understand or appreciate pearls. Its biblical.

i will forever have my lense tarnished by giving a disordered person to behave badly while undercthe guide of or claiming to be a christian. That boat sailed. So thats my a2a regarding this question. The bible warms of wolves in sheep clothing and to be vigilent. Its in the old and new testament and through out proverbs. Even jesus said go the other way , you dont need to give your energy or time or gifts to these folks. The church gas lit wives by saying be submissive to your husbands

Jesus can only be desribed as being warm, loving, patient, wise and do untonothers as yould have done to you.

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became controlled, one sided, it was fraught with tension, they showed no capability of empathy and sought out only to what only benefitted them. The relationship was full of future faking, silent treatment, criticism, judgement, control , outbursts of anger, and any time something such as prayer, deep biblical based discussions and living by jesus teachings were not something we shared no matter my confusion as to why.

in short are they living lives exampled by being